You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
