i used baking grease as lip gloss
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
