we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
