I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
