Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
