What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
