I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
