Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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