3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
