If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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