If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
