I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
