they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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