I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
