I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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