Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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