you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
