Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
