At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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