I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
