It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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