Dual....:-)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
