My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
