How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
