Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
