I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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