Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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