im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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