She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
