I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
