I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i barfeds in our rink
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
