In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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