There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
