If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Non-Jews are for practice
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm at about main and main street
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
