Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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