im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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