ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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