Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
