In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There r osticjed everywhere
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
