There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
