i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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