My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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