I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
