me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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