im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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