If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
