i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
