we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
