chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said her name was "party"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
