They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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