I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
