and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
