other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Less talking, more tequila
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's rum buckets o'clock
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
