Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
